From the doctoral study, Are You Talking to Me? A Study of Young Listeners’ Connection with Catholic Sunday Preaching, fifty-five percent of the high school students who attended Mass regularly could describe an experience of growing in faith through the preaching that they heard in the past year. After categorizing those responses, the surprising thing was how varied was that growth in faith. From their responses, we have created a rubric which will find out which populations you are consistently reaching (not just age populations, but learning styles and faith-growth needs), which you inadvertently ignore or marginalize, and what topics you consistently preach about. You may not even be aware of your patterns.

For example, you may preach often on social justice issues. At the same time, you may have parishioners who could use a pastoral homily to help them over difficult situations. Or you may be a preacher that mostly speaks out of scriptural exegesis; it may be refreshing to investigate the US bishops’ new  document on preaching, Preaching the Mystery of Faith, to find that you could tie in elements of the liturgy or snippets of doctrine. Or you may not even realize that you direct your preaching toward  those who are fifty and older while the people sitting in front of you may be largely under sixteen (a great problem to have!)

But how do you know these things if you never examine your preaching life? The comments that you hear at the door, “Great homily, Father” are not helpful – the deacon may have preached that week. How can you keep your preaching fresh and life-giving? We can work together on it. Send us a message and get in touch.

Like the blind, I began to listen more intently for symptoms of response. There was one moment when the room went totally silent. There was no cough. There was not even a rustle of movement. What held their attention so intimately?

The hush came when I mentioned the unspoken grief of the faithful: The sorrow, the pain, the inner heaviness at the loss of those we love, to the faith that means so much to us. In the pause, I heard one sniffle. Then silence again.

Profound sorrow pervades our church. And we are not talking about it.

If we have experienced the joy, the comfort, the challenge, and the delight in a life founded in our relationship with Jesus Christ; if we have been transformed from darkness and risen up from the muck of despair by that hand who rescues; if we have been embraced by a loving God and known the tender breath of the Holy Spirit, then that is the energy, the inner fire, that drives our life. How could anyone walk away from that?

How could anyone walk away? An older woman once said to me, as one of my friends abandoned her faith, “Then she did not understand it.”

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
(Prayer attributed to St. Francis)

As I began to create this post, I searched for images of listening. Here’s what I found: 1) pictures of ears; 2) people with headphones; and 3) folks with their hands over their ears. Listening is growing difficult in this distracted and over-busy world. Yet true listening is a two-way street, a life-giving interconnectedness.

Good preachers are first of all good listeners. If we are listening, we will know what folks are going through. Then our preaching can address them in ways that connect.

St. Francis hugged a leper to overcome his disgust at the grossness of the disease, so that he could learn to see the human being beneath the flaking skin. We are called to be attentive to others with that same humility.

Focused attention does not take long, but it does take effort. Take a moment in this day to listen more deeply to someone you love. And if you get the courage to do so, take a moment to really listen to someone you don’t love or you don’t understand. And if you are willing to go even one step further, listen carefully to someone who doesn’t like you.

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Pray this prayer each Sunday from Easter to Easter (or as needed until it is answered).

Living God, please be with us. We believe that You want to be known. Your Son showed us your love through stories and miracles and words. Today, we want to see your face, hear your voice, and know your presence.

Open our hearts to receive the message that you want us to hear this day. As we listen to this homily, please invigorate this preaching and inspire this preacher, so that his message echoes your presence in our hearts. Warm the hearts of those who sit beside me, so they also hear your voice. Help us all to grow closer to you.

Holy Spirit, bubble up like a geyser within this place! We thank you and praise you for blessing us, for you are our hope, our joy, and our strength. May our community of faith bring you glory.

We ask this through Christ our Lord, Amen.

If “connecting” is our mission and listening to high school students is our source of input, then what does it mean to young people to “connect”?

In their words, 561 kids described connection. Here’s what they said: “Relate to me.”

“Relate to me.”

“Relate to me” is variously described as: “being chill,” “in sync,” “come down to my level,” and “relate to my life.” Here are some of the quotes from the study Are You Talking to Me?:

When a teacher, priest or whoever connects with me it means that he/she relates to my life. If they can teach about things, that seem important or have nothing to do with me and then can legitimately connect what they are teaching to my life, they will have my full undivided attention.

Yes, my last theology teacher. He is really nice and chill and taught religion in ways that we could relate to, not something an adult should be doing. This teacher is really COOL. He is just so in sync with what goes on at school. He just knows how to relate and is a really cool guy. (See the picture. For the uninitiated, “Sup” means “what’s up?” and a bumping of fists is a sign of solidarity.)

Connection to me means being able to relate to a person, to have in depth conversations, and to be on a personal level.

A subset of “relate to me” is included in this previous answer—have meaningful conversations, be interesting, talk about things that matter. Young people appreciate when adults respect their intelligence and articulately engage with them:

They just talk on our level; they act like they are interested in what we say. They are easy to talk to.

How do we relate? It’s pretty simple: Be there, listen, and help; be interested; be interesting; come out of yourself and pay attention. That’s a start. They say that 90% of holiness is just showing up. Here is the handout from the workshop “10 Ways to Make Human Connection with Today’s Catholic Youth” at the NCEA national convention in Houston, 2013.